10 Days of Good Things

OK so maybe some most of the past 10 days have been occupied by a lot of resting, which has proved necessary, I have had quite a few achievements dotted around too.  Quite significant ones as well.

My birthday was a lovely day.  Having my hair done was wonderful, and it meant one less thing for me to have to do that evening before going out.  I also had a really lovely meal out with my family, at the only food establishment I trust with cooking my food locally.  I got some lovely presents – an amethyst ring, a necklace to match, a set of knitting needs, a skein of yarn, a funky lizard brooch and a letter rack – much more than I had expected.  And 30 isn’t that bad after all.

I’ve had to spend many of my days recently in the armchair with my feet up on the foot stool (which is huge, and almost turns the reclined armchair into a chaise lounge).  Because I also went insanely noise sensitive, and thus couldn’t entertain the idea of music, TV or films, I instead kept myself occupied with my cross-stitch and new-found hobby of knitting.  Alternating between the two is not only good to give the brain a rest – knitting a scarf using garter stitch requires no brain power at all – but cross-stitching is fiddly and my hands can’t do that for extended periods.  Obviously I do have to rest from the knitting as well for the same reason.  I’m coming on well with both the cross-stitch and the knitting though – I’m three-quarters done with the cross-stitch, and I’ve knitted about 2ft of scarf.

The past 10 days have also been good for socialising.  I don’t mean going out or having people round – I’ve been far too exhausted to entertain the idea – I mean online.  Having joined the knitting website almost a month ago, I also joined a new crafting group for people with chronic illnesses.  It has meant over-doing it a couple of times posting and reading, but interacting with some new names has been great.

I have to continue resting for the rest of the week – next Friday I graduate!

Auf Deutsch

Last night I made another chocolate cake.  This time it wasn’t quite as impressive, looks wise, to the birthday cake I made, nor is it as big, but boy is it yummy!  A nice little Sezzy-sized loaf-sized bundle of yumminess.  I’m liking this baking lark now that I have the food processor to mix, and a dishwasher to clean everything afterwards!

The reason I baked the cake was because I had a friend over today.  She’s German and a retired teacher, and helped me lots through my final year of German studies, mostly ironing out a few grammatical problems I had.  I haven’t seen her for a while so I thought the cake would be a nice gesture.  It went down really well, and it’s even better than my last chocolate cake attempt!  I’ve actually just polished off the second slice today (I don’t think it’s going to last very long!).  Anyway, not only was the cake a success, but we spoke the entire time – 2 hours – in German.  That’s the first time I’ve actually spoken German like that since last year, and I was so pleased when she said as she was leaving that my German had remained good, that I seemed far more confident with it, and that it was good I understood her the entire time.  Yay!

Oh and I saw Mr Good-looking Neighbour Man last night too again.  He’d forgotten his key (again!) and remembered it was me who let him in before.  There’s a small chance I might see him Sunday, if he needs a new copy of the main entrance door key, as his seems to be duff anyway.  Still no idea if he’s single, but either way, it’s nice to talk to a neighbour here.  Meeting neighbours is a chance affair here, and it’s only the third time I’ve actually stopped and spoken to a neighbour.  I’m not complaining, I like the quiet and I’m a bit of a loner at times.  But company is nice at times.

I also registered with a knitting and crocheting site today, in readiness for starting to knit.  It’s a huge site, and I think I’ll be asking my friend who recommended it to me a lot of questions!

Time to rest now.

Achieved, Check

1. Sorted out a prescription, check.
2. Chased up MP, check.
3. Tackled electricity company about Warm Home Discount, check.
4. Helped a friend, check.
5. Eaten well all day, check.
6. Prepared bins for tomorrow, check.
7. Knackered, check.

Tired But Not Sleepy

Yes, you can be tired without being sleepy. ME sufferers will recognise this frustrating situation well. So while I lie here in bed, connect to here via my phone and try to make myself tired enough to be sleepy, you lucky people reading this get to know what my achievements were today (well, yesterday really, but tomorrow only starts after I’ve slept).

Dad and I travelled back from my clinic, though what should have been a nice 1 hour 30 minute journey at the very most turned into an arduous 3 hour 30 minute haul, all thanks to a road closure and subsequent traffic jam. However with the help of my trusty phone and its various apps, I found out exactly what was going on and created a diversion.

When finally we were home we were more than ready for lunch, so had a meal at Sainsbury’s. Nothing special and it was only just lukewarm, but it filled a gap that needed filling. Plus, I didn’t react adversely to it. That was my sixth meal that I happily ate. It’s so good to eat again! I love my food!

Lunch eaten, I deposited my crutches at Customer Services and traded them in, albeit temporarily, for a bright orange mobility scooter. With the help of Dad, who got everything from the shelves I couldn’t reach (which was most of the time), I managed to do the first full grocery shopping in a long time. Without that scooter I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’m just so pleased I had the courage to start using them. For as long as I need them, I’m not turning back.

My oldest friend came over this evening to see me too. I normally wouldn’t have had visitors after such a long and busy day, however it was really good to have the company. Today is the most poorly he’s probably ever seen me, and yes I did feel self-conscious with my skin flared and being so skinny (or as he kindly put it, slender), but I think in some ways it did me good to allow someone to see me ill like that. Probably all ways if I think about it!

One of my best friends also phoned up briefly just to check on me after my trip away to the clinic. I am lucky to have some really good friends around me. I might not see them all as much as I’d like, but to have them there is amazing.

I know that in one day I did a lot, more than I have done since my health nose-dived almost 2 weeks ago, but it made a nice change from feeling utterly weak and cut-off from the real world. I must take it easy for the next few days, but hopefully I can get some strength and finally, maybe, even arrange to have friends over – there are a few I haven’t seen in such a long time, and with one thing and another it just hasn’t happened. I do need to try and straighten the flat up a bit though!

Now I think I can sleep.

Life is like the Grand National

Life likes to throw up the little hurdles sometimes to challenge us. When you have illnesses such as ME and severe allergies these hurdles can be like facing Beeches Brook in the Grand National. I am at one such hurdle right now. One which I hope to clear after a little assistance next week.

Despite facing my personal equivalent of Beeches Brook I have managed to achieve quite a bit today (well, technically yesterday now!):

• I rang my university to sort final assistance arrangements for my graduation ceremony;
• I wrote a blurb for some fund-raising efforts in May;
• I rang and wrote a letter to a caterer to provide them with the list of foods I’m ok with and allergic to;
• I wrote two emails to my clinic in preparation for my unexpectedly early visit next week;
• I spoke to a friend about their wedding arrangements.

It’s weird, but even though my body is otherwise complaining at rather high-pitched, unmissable volumes, my brain today allowed me to get those few things done. I must take it very easy this weekend. This horse needs to jump Beeches Brook.

Cake & Meeting

Today I baked a cake.  It’s the first time I’ve baked anything like that in at least 2 years, probably more.  My last place had a kitchen so tiny that you didn’t need to put too much out before the work top was full, so using my food processor wasn’t an option.  I had to be well enough to mix by (a very heavy) electric hand mixer, or manually.  That wasn’t very often.  My new place has a bigger kitchen with more workspace, so I can use the food processor.  I’m never going back.

Part of the reason I made the cake was because Mum, her friend and a friend of mine were coming to mine for a meeting regarding the appeal fund.  I thought it would be a nice gesture to do this.  Unfortunately, despite knowing my friend for around 12 years, I didn’t know he didn’t like bananas.  This is a (gluten-free) banana and chocolate chip cake.  Nevertheless, the rest of us ate some cake, thoroughly enjoyed it, and Mum’s friend even took some away with her.

I also met the newest neighbour in the block today.  Seems a nice chap, and certainly very pleasant on the eye.  He’d managed to lock himself out, and I was the only one in to let him in the main entrance.  It’s the first time I’ve met and really spoken to any of the 4 other occupants in this block, but then it doesn’t really lend itself here to bump into people on a regular basis.

One very happy, but shattered, Sezzy.

A Meal and Nice Comments

Wednesday was a very good day.  I managed to do ‘just’ one big thing – I went out for dinner with a couple of fellow German students from my course in 2010.  We’ve made this an annual arrangement, so as to keep in contact.  One of the chaps kindly picked me up on the way to the pub restaurant, and we had a nice couple of hours out, catching up with a year’s worth of events.  This outing was the first time I’d been out properly (bar the mini excursion to Boots last Saturday) in almost a month.  It did mean that I couldn’t do anything else that day apart from recline with my feet up and rest, but that 2 hours out was well worth it.

Yesterday was very much a rest day, although while reclined with my feet up I also managed to work a bit on the cross-stitch project for Dad.  Slowly but surely I can see progress.  I hope that he will get this finished and framed by the end of this year – he’s already been waiting 10 years for it!

Another achievement for yesterday was managing to do some work on the website of the appeal fund that was set up for me.  The committee have allowed me to do this, and at least I know that I am helping where I am able to.  My task yesterday was to add a quote from the Patron.  What she had written was really touching, especially when she said that I was “brave and exceptionally kind” and that she “wanted to do anything” she could to help me.  As someone who usually thinks of others before themselves, it’s very moving to hear and know that there are all sort of people – close friends, acquaintances, strangers – that want to help me.  I will be eternally grateful.

Mum is on her way to visit me now.  I will be glad of her being here, as today I do need some help.  Accepting help, that is today’s achievement.

Finding Inspiration

Today I read a post by a friend: Scott Jordan Harris: keeping a diary keeps me sane.  I would never proclaim to be sane, in fact I think sanity is quite over-rated!  However what Scott discusses in this blog on the BBC Ouch! site rings true.  When you are so severely ill, it’s easy to over-look even the smallest of accomplishments each day.  I am guilty as charged.

I consider myself generally a positive person, despite the adversity of illness and disability that I find myself in, but I know that I don’t always recognise the positives in my life.  Sure, the big things yes.  Last year I completed my BA (hons) Humanities with German and Music with a lower second-class honours, and bagged myself a Diploma in German and a Diploma in Music into the bargain.  It took me 6 years of home-study, but I got there.  But it’s the small things that I tend to over-look – I think most of us do.

So today, because of Scott’s blog post, I am inspired to start a positive blog.  It might not be written every day, I know that and am not going to kid myself otherwise.  But just writing here will be an achievement in itself.

So far my achievements today have been:

• having a bath and washing my hair on my own for the first time since I became ill with flu a couple of weeks ago;
• having the clarity of mind enough to pay a bill;
• arranging a window cleaner for my 2, very dirty, flat windows;
• putting a small load of washing on;
• getting my post from the in-tray;
• putting half a dozen towels in their new home;
• setting this blog up and writing this post.

The achievement I’m most proud of is the first one.  Why?  It’s the most exhausting to do out of everything in that list due to the sheer physical effort involved.

I plan to rest for the rest of the afternoon and this evening – feet up, reclined in front of the TV watching something cheerful.  Now I feel like I’ve earned that rest.